Sweet 16 Inspiration Board for Minted.com

untitled 1 board by Megan. See more Minted party invitations

Living with Anxiety

Lately I have been dealing with a heightened level of anxiety.
It is starting to worry me.
Like I have mentioned, I have suffered with anxiety disorders for most of my life, peaking my last semester of college. I was able to go home, start medication, and find a level of peace.

Anxiety is triggered by stress. Repeated stress leads to more anxiety and more anxiety leads to breaking points. When those breaking points hit, it is almost impossible to go back from.

I HATE having anxiety. In some ways, this is even a more personal piece of my life than weight loss. Anxiety dictates everything I do.

When I am what I refer to as "healthy" - having a steady mindset and low stress levels - I function well. I can sit in a crowded restaurant and go to church peacefully. When I have heightened anxiety I have trouble doing these things and avoid them usually. When I feel "sick" I feel incapable of doing anything.

I use the terms "healthy" and "sick" because mental diseases are physical diseases with stigmas. It is like having leprosy... and the negative connotations make people embarrassed to talk about it which will only worsen your condition because a key component to coping with anxiety and depression and mental illness is being able to communicate about it. To feel heard and important - no matter how irrational the issues might seem to someone without anxiety, they are EVERYTHING to someone with anxiety.

People often don't understand someone with anxiety's stress factors.. because the truth is, they are irrational. That is probably the worst part about having anxiety... it is irrational. I can explain all of the things bothering me and terrifying me and why they shouldn't. I can tell myself over and over again that I shouldn't be afraid of church-goers, movie-goers, and my class mates. I can tell myself they aren't all focusing on me, and if I say the wrong thing I won't be made fun of for years. But the fact of the matter is, you can't convince my MIND anything different.

And sadly, when it all builds up, it becomes a big problem. I feel like I'm on the brink of this now. I can't stand sitting still, I don't want to talk to anyone, and I just want to sleep. It's depressed and disheartening.

People without anxiety don't understand the fragile box I live in. I have to monitor how much I put on my plate and what situations I put myself in.

I hate taking medication, but let's face it, I am an absolute disaster without it. Someday I hope to go off of it, but I know it's not time yet.

I didn't want to write about this, but I knew I needed someway to express this or I wouldn't make it much longer.

MC

Uriah's Visit!

Started off the weekend with Chai Lattes 

Cutest thing ever, right?

Date night!

Sangria Swirl

The Funky Door

Bananas Foster Fondue 

Mom & Me!

Uriah Grilling on Mother's Day!

Typical.

Smitten.

After FOUR LONG MONTHS I finally got to see my handsome, diver boyfriend! Uriah has been in Houston studying to become a Master Diver. For what we have wanted to do, we felt it was best (although MUCH harder) for me to stay in Lubbock with my family and job. It has been quite possibly the hardest and longest four months ever, and even though it's not over (he graduates in August) it feels so much more manageable. We had the best weekend! Uriah helped move his mother, Brinda, here this weekend so she will be an added bonus to this town!! Uriah, Brinda, my mom, and I all hung out Saturday morning and had lunch together. Then Uriah and I did some shopping, he got to meet one of my very best friends, Paige, for the first time and we played with the baby she was baby-sitting (see the cutest picture ever above.) Then we got ready and went on our date night to Abuelo's. He had a margarita on the rocks and I had a sangria/margarita swirl. YUM. THEN he suprised me and took me to The Funky Door - just about the coolest local winery/ fondue place where he ordered my favorite - bananas foster fondue. We were so full we could pretty much only look at it! Sunday Uriah and I went to church with my mom for Mother's day, then went grocery shopping and had a HUGE cookout for BOTH of our mothers! He bought his mom lilies and I bought my mom peonies (her favorite) and we displayed them on the table around the strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting I made. I really wish I had taken pictures of all of this. Savanna helped me decorate with some puffs and while I baked and prepped all of the sides, Uriah manned the grill with the mexican hot dogs and burgers. We have been so blessed by our mother's and wanted to show them a great time. I seriously don't think I could have asked for a better mom. She is super woman, I swear.

So... it wasn't a weekend for physical health, I'll give you that. However, my mental health was treated to an amazing weekend! 5.5 more weeks til I get to see my handsome, loving, kind man again. He loves me for me. I wasn't sure I would ever be blessed enough to feel that, but God provided, like always. So grateful.

xoxo
Megan

Embracing Your Body Type

I was scrolling through Pinterest recently (side note: sometimes I use pinterest as a tool to keep my mind focused on healthy things - no, I wasn't scrolling the food section - we would be in trouble then - I go through the health & fitness page and motivational quotes to saturate my thoughts) and I came across an article about different body types.

Three Body Types - Ectomorph,
Mesomorph, and Endomorph

I knew about body types in women - pear, apple, rectangle, octagon (kidding), and what have you but hadn't heard of the terms "ectomorph," "mesomorph," and "endomorph" before. The more I read the more obvious it became that I am the latter of the three. To be precise, most people are variations of a couple of these, and according to the test I took I am in between a mesomorph and endomorph leaning more towards endomorph. Let me explain what these terms mean a little more...

Cameron Diaz - Ectomorph

I think we all know someone who can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce of weight, or someone who has even been told by a doctor they need to gain weight. Although this may seem idyllic to someone like me who registers on the opposite end of the scale (literally and figuratively,) I'm not ignorant to the fact that  not all people like this feel it's a blessing. Either way, when you think of a person like this the chances are that you're thinking of a person with an ectomorphic body type. Think Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz, or Audrey Hepburn. Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper are male examples. They are usually longer and leaner. Ectomorphs cover the majority of fashion magazines and they are more likely to be in cardiovascular sports.

Jennifer Garner - Mesomorph

The second body type is called mesomorph. These are what I think of as "natural athletes." They are strong and muscular. They usually don't have a problem losing weight or gaining muscle - their metabolisms are efficient. Their shoulders tend to be wider than their hips. You can see a lot of these body types in professional sports like tennis and body building. Infamous Hollywood muscle heads like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone fall into this category. Some famous female mesomorphs are Halle Berry, Demi Moore, and Jennifer Garner.

Sofia Vergara - Endomorph

I often have described myself as someone able to gain weight just from looking at food. This is why I fall mostly into the third body type called endomorph. Endomorphs gain fat very easily and losing weight is very difficult. They have smaller more rounded shoulders, high waist and tend to carry the majority of their weight in their abdomen, hips, and buttocks (hello me!) Endomorphs have slow metabolisms which can be unforgiving when eating unhealthily. They do, however, gain muscle easily. A lot of endomorphs tend to be obese (think Roseanne, Oprah, and Jack Black) but something I found neat about the endomorph body, is that when it is in shape, it is hardly rivaled in feminine physiques. Some examples of healthy endomorphs are Marilyn Monroe, Sofia Vergara, and Beyonce. Ow ow! (A healthy male example would be Russell Crowe.)

Marilyn Monroe - Endomorph

Learning this made me stop mid step and think about what my goal was. I've never wanted to be rail thin, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be tall and thin like an ectomorph. Since I do love sports, I've even thought about being as toned and strong as a mesomorph. But the fact of the matter is this: I am an endomorph. If I were to ever become an ectomorph (which I will never be) I would be making myself extremely ill. My shoulders will never be as broad and strong as a mesomorph (which will probably mean that my tennis and volleyball serves won't be as great as the pros - darn!) But in a funny way it has also relieved so much pressure from me! First of all - there is a reason I am the way I am. I am an endomorph. Second - there is a reason I am not like models - I am an endomorph (which makes me sad for the world in a whole other way.) Third- conquering this means it IS something that not everyone is meant to do. Ectomorphs and Mesomorphs don't have the same battle as I (we) do because it is EASY for them and it makes me feel somewhat confident about achieving something they never had to work for. Like being successful in a career coming from poverty versus being born into wealth. Lastly - Working towards looking like an hour glass bombshell? That's a goal right there I can get behind!

I did some research on what the best eating and exercises are. I've read some conflicting theories about exercise for endomorphs - some say because gaining muscle is easy, that you should focus on that and others say that because there is so much extra weight you should focus on cardio. If anyone has some solid ideas I would love to hear them. Until then, I think I will continue the combination of both - kettle bell is a good source of  mixing the two. Because endomorphs are prone to high insulin levels and gaining weight easily - bad carbs are to be avoided *almost* entirely - I'm not a no-carb fanatic, but let's face it - they aren't doing me any favors. Meals should be mostly composed of protein with healthy carbs found in vegetables and whole grains, and a little bit of healthy fat (nuts, eggs, olive oil.) It's a good thing for an endomorph to stock up on their lean meats and veggies with a side of fruit.



Time to embrace my strengths and learn from my weaknesses.

Male Body Type Examples

xoxo
Beyonce  Megan

Some websites used for research:
http://www.superskinnyme.com/body-types.html
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/determining-your-body-type.html

Female Body Type Examples

Friday Friday Friday

Today I am celebrating a 13 lb overall weight loss! Hoo-rah!!

The weight loss is going slower than I am used to, but I'm also learning so much more about living a healthy life rather than crash dieting.

Something that has really helped me is educating myself on the food industry. It's almost shameful to think of all the toxins I have put in my body. I don't mean to sound too "granola" for you, but that might be just what I am. I love naturopathy. I believe that God created our bodies to function in a certain way with the nutrients and foods he gave us in an environment he designed our bodies to be in. Because it's fallen , the world has been polluted and manipulated in so many ways, that even our FRUITS and VEGGIES aren't completely natural anymore. Kind of makes me sad.

That being said, if we have these bodies designed to intake nutrients and export wastes in a certain way, what does our body do with all of these man made additives that we put in our bodies? Sometimes it finds a way to get rid of them, and sometimes not. Sometimes they manifest themselves in various parts of the body and sometimes those manifestations turn into diseases, disorders, and cancers.

Genesis Pure - Liquid Cleanse -
cleanses  colon, liver, kidneys, lungs,
 lymphatic system, skin and blood stream

I heard about a study done on West Texas breast cancer patients. When their tumors were opened, they found the same chemicals inside of them that are used on cotton crops (a notorious product of West Texas.) From this, we can safely assume that our bodies are collecting things that they don't know what to do with and aren't designed to have in them or get rid of.

So our bodies need to be cleansed of the bad (I recommend http://www.genesispure.com/product/cleanse.php - a multi channel, gentle cleanser) and to be nourished with foods that our bodies are DESIGNED to handle.

All in all, I'm enjoying going into a grocery store and realizing that it's not that I can't HAVE those foods because I'm on a diet, but I don't WANT those foods because they are full of nasty things that make me feel bad and will do bad things to me long term.

Always a work in progress.

xoxo
Megan

Easter!

Healthy Easter Basket!!

Happy belated Easter!

Sunday was Easter and yesterday I was sick, so I didn't get too much done. Also, I feel like Easter blindsided me as a holiday where you eat. Admission: I ate mom's deviled eggs and sweet potatoes (with splenda.) Not my best weekend but not my worst either.

My mom asked what I wanted in my Easter basket and I said "healthy things!"... boy did she the Easter bunny come through! And yes, there were even a couple of cadbury eggs included, but look at my loot! Big bags of natural almonds, shelled pistachios, pecans, natural popcorn, papaya, coconut chips, clif bars, sugar free gum, and water. Sweet deal! I made an awesome trail mix out of some of this stuff!

Mom: Easter 2013

I don't know if I have mentioned my mom's battle with diabetes before, but she was diagnosed, and as a geriatric nurse knew the consequences of not taking care of yourself. She has been amazing at handling herself with care, eating right, and monitoring her levels and now has lost a bit of weight. Look how hott she is!!

My Easter Ensemble!

I, myself, have been HATING buying new clothes, trying on clothes ,and etc. But, I needed something to wear for Easter Sunday. I splurged on some white skinny ankle jeans, this flowy blue top with pleated back, and matching shoes/ necklace -- p.s. the necklace was a steal at $4 and the shoes were on sale for $7. Boom!

I hope your Easter was full of feeling the love of Christ through remembering His resurrection.

Time to focus focus focus!!

xoxo Megan

First Goal Success!

I finally (FINALLY) finally made my first goal! I feel like now that this is accomplished I can move forward with other goals! And I got my first goal prize.. a new Victoria's Secret water bottle! I bought it a few days ago and it's been sitting on my dresser taunting motivating me and today I got to take it to work. My other water bottles were worn out and then I found myself spending a lot of money on fancy bottled water and I'm so glad to have this and just use the RO system in the lounge. Learning to drink like a fishy! Just how I like everything else in my life to be - cute. :]

Also, check out today's table of temptations!! It's Good Friday and people brought out the .. uh.. goods? That's a jumbo basket full of candy (including reeses eggs - a huge weakness) and a giant platter full of cookies. PTL my sugar tooth has decreased greatly since taking the NAC supplement.

Happy Good Friday to everyone. We are called to remember the day that Christ died as an offering to cover our sins and gain redemption in the eyes of God. So grateful for what this day means. :]


xoxo
Megan