Blue Eyed Banjo

I have heard stories about people who have undergone weight loss surgery who then try to eat and it makes them sick or even vomit. I (oddly) coveted this dilemma because I was quite sure at times in my life that my stomach was a bottomless pit. Last night, I felt the torture of overeating nausea and subsequent vomiting.

Long story short, mom cooked. I didn't feel as though I overate, but I think I overate for the limitations I have put on myself and the supplements I am taking. I learned a valuable lesson last night. Hopefully this will teach me more about portion control, as well.

I had another thought this morning while I was helping my niece get ready for school. She is the most beautiful, kind-hearted, sweet-spirited twelve y/o child and she has always been my "mini-me". Then there are the times when her stubborn nature (no clue where she gets it from) are a tad bit overwhelming and we are at odds. I have set this child up for success from decorating her room from top to bottom to buying her school wardrobe almost every year. I love my niece and nephew that live with us VERY much -- they have so much of my heart -- but my role with them is odd. Part sister, part mother, part disciplinarian, and LASTLY part AUNT. Mean, fun, generous, stingy, bitter etc.. they have had to experience all these sides of me which is so unfortunate and something I deeply regret. But I have grown up with them and wasn't ready for the position of "parenthood" (?) I was put into with them when I was and sadly I haven't been able to give them as much as they deserve from any aspect of me. Back on subject, I try to supply them with what I can (as my main love language is gift giving) and my niece loves to say that the pants for today are itchy or that something is wrong with her shirt. It drives me insane because I know once she puts it on she looks adorable. Then come her least favorite words... "let me fix your hair." She hates this more than anything... maybe for my lack of mercy with tangles, but either way... I also know how confident she feels when she looks "put-together." So, this morning, I insisted on throwing her hair in a ponytail which was met with her typical resistance. I was brushing her hair back and she pointed at her ear and said "My ear is weird. It's not like the other one." First of all, I looked at it and nothing was weird about it. Then a rush of anger (at the world, myself, my sinfulness, etc.) hit me. Not that this was a momentously tragic situation, but that my niece found something so minutely wrong to fixate on about herself. It really saddens me that I've been this type of example. I believe in bettering yourself, but I also believe in loving yourself.

Learning in progress.

Weightloss Summary..
Since Yesterday: -1.6 (yea, thanks nausea)
Overall: -6.6

xoxo
Megan